letter from Lori

What makes you think I would laugh at you pouring out your soul, trying to 
explain yourself................OK maybe it wasn't that serious either! I 
promise I did not laugh! (HE! HE!)  No, really, I didn't laugh!  (HA!
I swear I didn't even crack a smile!  (HA! HA! HA! HA!)  I'm sorry that was 
kind of mean, but you have to admit that you asked for it by telling me not 
to laugh!

                           Talk to you later,
                                 Lori (A.K.A. The Devil/Bunny/Angel/Angel)
                                    The last one is the most true!


I set some of these apart, really funny or they are about you  (ha ha he he)
you have to figure out which is which

 1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
 2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
 3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People. 

 4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

 5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
 6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
 7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
 8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
 9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.

11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home

19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off

28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

41. Guys:  No Shirt, No Service
      Gals:  No Shirt, No Charge
      [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
44. Ax Me About Ebonics
45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
47. Cat: The Other White Meat

48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
58. Peta - People Eating Tasty Animals